Quest Complete

I have a really exciting announcement from the multi-media conglomerate influencer empire that is #TuesdayswithTorrey. And the announcement is… I did it! I found a greater short-horned lizard and I admired it thoroughly. I’ll hold here for applause and praise……………..and continue…

Finding a wild greater short-horned lizard has been deep in my bucket list for a long time. And it certainly was no easy quest. I mean seriously, I had to 1) walk around in eastern Montana, and 2) look at the ground. It took years of training and literally dozens of minutes to get it done, but it happened, and I can now rest in peace when my day comes.

Why such a tizzy about a lizzy? Well, if you look in the photo above, you’ll see that greater short-horned lizards are simply excellent looking, like nothing else in Montana. Especially notable are the rows of spikey-doos and spikey-don’ts adorning its back and sides. Also notable is its round appearance, giving it a jolly vibe in comparison to the slim and speedy demeanor of other Montana lizards. It’s certainly hard to look at one up close amongst the ancient landscapes of eastern Montana and not be transported back to dinosaur times.

Despite that jolly vibe, greater short-horned lizards can put on quite the horror show when threatened. They may start by puffing up their bodies to show off their spikey-doos and hissing at you. If you are somehow brave enough to get past that defense, and if you’re really pushing your luck, they’ll enter DEFCON 1 and straight-up squirt blood at you out of their eyes. That’s right, the thing you thought was an urban legend about these kinds of lizards is true.

Don’t get yourself bloodshot! It’s always a good idea not to try and handle short-horned lizards, or any other wild animal, RIGHT PEOPLE!? I was nice and patient with this fine specimen and look at what a close-up photo it allowed me to get! No hissing and no bloodbath required!

#TuesdayswithTorrey
#allinatizzyaboutamontanalizzy
#pleaseignorethefactthatiamanavidanglerandhandlewildanimalsonalmosteveryfishingtrip